Sunday, November 28, 2004

Hell on Earth

There's a place on this planet where I get the opportunity to practice patience and acceptance unlike any other place on earth.

That place is the mall.

The place simply drives me batty - especially this time of year. Let me count the ways:

1.) I very much dislike crowds. Standing shoulder to shoulder with pushy and "gotta-get-it" obsessed people for hours on end is not my idea of fun.
2.) People always walk down the "wrong" side of the aisles. It's just like the road, people: Stick to the right side as you walk and no collisions occur.
3.) It reminds me of humanity's apparent "need" of exterior things to make us happy.
4.) Maybe I'm getting old, but 12 year old girls shouldn't feel the need to dress like 22-year old college chicks going to a house party.
5.) I walk by Abercrombie yesterday, and what to my wandering eyes did appear: A man... actually an Abercrombie model... standing in the doorway to the store, greeting people WITH HIS DAMN SHIRT OFF! It was like they were saying: "Buy our shirts and trousers and you too will have rippling, tanned abs." Haha, it was so ... funny. And sad. And it made me think of sausage.

I know I should work on my attitude. I know that whatever I dislike in my mall experiences is probably a reaction to something I dislike in myself. But until I figure out what that is, I think I'll stick with Goodwill.


Anonymous said...

O so there with you on the mall avoidance program, brutha. My distaste is for the sonic/psychic dissonance in that atmosphere. Not to mention the complete diconnection from the original spirit of the season that the commercialism has come to.

And where were these 12 year olds when *I* was in 6th grade?!? You KNOW you're just getting a glimpse of your future a la Kalliopi!

Miss Wired said...

I too get annoyed with people walking on the wrong side of a busy thoroughfare, except, here in Australia, we walk on the left side.

Look forward to reading more from you. :)

Jon said...

I've got a lot of aversions, but there's nothing I find more avert-worthy than THE MALL. I'm with you, it's hell on Earth.

My strategy: do all the shopping at the last minute. Do it only in the bookstores. Come out of the bookstores ONLY when shopping specifically for those persons you know who under no circumstances want a book.

Hang in there, Trev.