I love rediscovering old forgotten songs. I stumbled upon this gem a few days ago and forgot how great of a song it is and how meaningingful the lyrics are...
Zen teacher Gil Fronsdal recently had the following to say during a talk about "Sloth/Torpor" - one of the five hinderances to living the spiritual life / being present:
"Most people aren't living so sensitive to the subtle influence or effect their thinking has. But thoughts of discouragement, thoughts of failure, thoughts of "it's too much" - all kinds of thoughts we have drain our energy, drain our enthusiasm, and drain our confidence - so we don't want to make the effort."
I'm realizing how toxic a lot of the conversation that is bouncing around in my head really is.
A pretty popular podcast (or internet "radio show" for those unfamiliar with the oh-so-hip new term) called Stupid Church People is featuring a Trev Diesel song on their newest show.
SCP is basically two guys - Steve and Josh from California - both former church employees who talk about their frusterations with the church and while that may seem like a really negative thing, it is actually quite refreshing to hear such honesty, humor, and REALNESS from people who aren't trying to put on an act for others.
They're both extremely vulgar and extremely spiritual in the same breath... like most normal people I know.
Anyway, check out their site HERE and you can download the radio show HERE (click "Direct Download") that features yours truly. But be sure to listen to some of their other shows, including the Tony Jones interview (Tony his the unofficial Grand Poombah of the Emergent Church movement).
Just for the record - though - Steve says something about me writing "The Air Up There" to be about getting away from church... but that's not actually how I put it (Jeez, Steve, what the hell's WRONG with you!). What I had emailed him was this: "It's definately an open metaphor - and while originally it was about overcoming the shit in life - it certainly could be applied to the church - when we feel like we're drowning in it all and we have to figure out whatever it may be (your "boat" in the song) that will be your WHOLENESS, rest and salvation."
Thanks again guys, for featuring the music (and for the sexual advances by Josh)! Much love!
It's amazing what you can find on the internet. On a buddy of mine's MySpace page I found this following gem-of-a-picture. Here's me (at age SIXTEEN) playing guitar in my underwear (I'm the one sitting down) with a few of my bandmates. We were playing a gig and no one was paying attention, so we decided they'd probably start listening if we got naked.
So there you have it. A bunch o' skinny pale guys in their skivies.
[a continuation on Tuesday's post: Seasons - Gagging on God]
"A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."
I'm in the process of emptying my cup.
Introducing Trevor Hall (thanks to Tommy for introducing ME to this guy). Trevor is a musician who has recently been signed to White Balloon / Geffen. His music is marriage of GREAT songwriting and a very deep spirituality. Go to his myspace page to hear samples from his new album - and MAKE SURE to listen to "Under His Blanket." Here are the incredible lyrics:
cut my wings break me down
my faith is gone i've lost my crown
am i alive or is this a dream
because the illusions are breaking at the seams
what am i following why am i bothering
i fell a victim to the trick and now i'm sick of all of it
all i got is this box of strings
am i really bringing anything
why do i question love when it burns so deep inside my chest
why do i live in fear when i always know that i'm under his blanket
are you a saint or just a man in a blanket
can you please fess up because i can't fucking take it
i love you too much for it to be a lie
just give me proof say the news either way i'll cry and cry
if it's all a hoax i'll die
and if you're telling the truth i'll fly
all i want to do is just stay in your holy grace
let you wash me down lord and let you paint my face
[chorus]
feed people serve people
take them to the holy steeples
where the rascals manufacture love to show us that we're equal
constellations station meditation for the dying
kiss your wish to make it bliss and give it to the crying
children can't find shelter so they retreat to the drugs
give out both your hands man and swallow them with love
the clock is ticking way too fast
triggers are pulled and guns blast
while the mothers take their children to the kindergarten class
well i'm under the blanket we're gonna make it to that holy place
where we are united without violence every single race
look into eyes and you will find that we're all of the same
blood blood blood blood blood blood blood
well neem karoli baba well he taught me like a father
i'm a ramayana soldier fighting with his love and honor
holy mother tell your brothers
wrap them up in all your covers
this is the time to rise and shine and burn off all the thunder
feel it all in your blood blood
unify and become come
all of us on the run run
our revolution of love
all of the elements turn turn
fire and water they burn
Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani hey
Today is the first official day of spring and it's snowing like crazy outside right now. What a weird metaphor, actually. I find it interesting the seasons we go through in life.
For the past few months, I have been gung-ho on my spiritual practices (daily meditation, readings, etc) and have felt like I've just been marinating in the things of God.
But over the past week I just want nothing to do with higher and nobler things like God and spirituality. I'm not having a bad week, nor am I unhappy, it's just that "all things spiritual" are kind of making me queasy right now. (Maybe I've been on overload?)
I think I may metaphysically vomit.
Anyway, what I'm realizing as I get older is that these times come and go. I'm not the least bit worried about it and don't wish it was any other way than it is. When the time comes (probably in the next week or two), the things of God will return to being my passion and life blood.
Until then, I'm reminded of that great line from the Matrix.... [Cypher]: "You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak] Ignorance is bliss."
I've seen various bloggers do the "Name Your First 10 Songs to Come Up on an iPod/iTunes Random Shuffle" thing - so here's mine for this week. The "rule" is that you can't edit what songs come up, or try to front by just putting your good songs on. It's a totally random shuffle (in my case out of 4,280 tracks) ... so here we go:
I'm playing a 45-minute set at a local bar tonight - WITHOUT MY BAND!
The bottom has fallen out - the support has been removed - the crutch has crumbled.
We were asked to play, but when I told him my band was unavailable, he said "Well, we still need a spot if you want to play an acoustic, solo performance."
So here we are. It should be fine, I suppose, except when people go to a bar, they want to hear a rockin' band, not a dude with his guitar on a stool singing stripped down versions of his songs.
Ah, well. I'll give 'em hell anyway. Here goes nothin'...
We got a Webcam yesterday so that we can speak (and see) Amy's family who live far away from us... and mainly so they can see our daughter, Kalli.
But everytime I use it, I feel like Pee-Wee in his Picturephone... like I should have to hold a can up to my ear to hear my callers.
(BTW - I'm on "SKYPE" now, so if anyone else uses that program and wants to chat, hit me up for my ID)
Last week I ordered four - count 'em - four Thomas Merton books from Amazon. I've been dabbling in his writings for some time, but now I've just decided to go for it and actually dive in.
1.) New Seeds of Contemplation
2.) Contemplative Prayer
3.) Thoughts in Solitude
4.) Zen and the Birds of Appetite
"A man cannot enter into the deepest center of himself and pass through that center into God, unless he is able to pass entirely out of himself and empty himself and give himself to other people in the purity of a selfless love."
(Merton, "New Seeds of Contemplation")
In the last few months, I've really gotten into Podcasting - those delightful little radio/video shows that automatically update to my iPod/iTunes. If you're into it as well, here's a couple of Trev Diesel's fav's worth checking out:
1.) Ask a Ninja (video) - I just got into this one, but my sweet Lord... it's a freaking riot. For a sample, click here and scroll down to view the "Ninja Gifts" video. You'll love it.
2.) Best Week Ever (video) - The crazy cats at VH1 have podcasted segments of their weekly recap on all-things-pop-culture. Hilarity ensues.
3.) The Ricky Gervais Show - Of course, everyone's favorite podcast from the creator of the BBC's "The Office." I could eat a nob at night.
4.) Meditatio Talks - Although I haven't figured out how to "subscribe" to this podcast, I have downloaded all these talks on Christian Contemplation and Meditation by Father Freeman. A bit dry (what else would you expect?) but excellent, and unique, teachings. Check it out HERE.
5.) Dirty Little Secrets - The radio show by those two crazy pastors at xxxchurch.com.
Runners up...
a.) Daily Jeezit - Musings from Pastor Noel at Riverview church in Michigan where my web-buddy Dan leads music.
b.) Zencast - Excellent Zen talks, updated weekly.
c.) Strong Bad Emails - Homestarrunner's arch nemesis' emails are now avaiable in podcast format. Holy crap!
Check 'em out, yo....
There are very few things that I'm afraid of in life, but I am deathly afraid of Tornados. They say the actual name of the phobia is Lilapsophobia.
Living in the midwest, this is something I have to deal with every spring and summer. And like most phobias, my fear isn't all that rational, but it IS toxic and paralyzing. I flip back and forth between 4 news stations watching the huge super cells move towards my county and imagine hovering in our bathroom and having the terrible thing rip though our house - even though the probabilty of me getting in a terrible car accident on the road is exponentially higher than ever personally encountering a tornado.
I suppose that the majority of my fear is due to our house not having a basement and that just wigs me out.
And then to see the reports that just hours from us, people's homes were ripped apart and lives taken by these things over the weekend. My heart and prayers go out to these people this morning.
So, here we go, it's not even April yet and I'm starting to feel anxiety about the damn things. I know that my spirituality should provide some sort of peace and calm in this regard, but I just get really uptight when Watches/Warnings are issued.
It's something I need to work on...
1.) Tonight is the first, real Trev Diesel gig with the full band. I just hope I nail all the guitar runs in Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke." Gulp.
2.) This June, our church's pastor (and my boss) will be moving on to his next life stage and a replacement is coming in. We met with the new pastor today and I don't think a better one could've been chosen. I look forward to what lies ahead.
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